Assistant of Evil

Coffee | Copies | Cons | Combustion

26 notes

Did anyone miss me?

onapalehorsexx:

[steps closer to her, trying not to crowd her but tempted to put an arm around her] Fear is only temporary. It can’t last forever unless you let it. Though if you want you can try to befriend Phobos. He’s still young with a temper but you could probably do it.

That’s…really good advice. It’s lasted almost five months. That feels like forever. [rubs her face and looks up at him with a tiny smile, setting the mugs of tea on the counter] Probably not that long in the grand scheme of things.

Can I give you a hug, Than?

Filed under onapalehorsexx (( ice cream and bridget jones?))

26 notes

Did anyone miss me?

onapalehorsexx:

Phobos is the personification of fear. Phobos and Deimos are fear and terror. They’re not as nice as me but they’re rather young. [looks over at her to try and meet her eyes] Why?

[meets his eyes for a split second and looks away] …A lot of really scary stuff happened to me when I first started working at SHIELD. I tried to ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen, but that made me more scared. [swallows hard and pours the hot water into mugs for tea]

If I’m going to be scared all the time no matter what I do, I thought it wouldn’t be a bad thing to be friendly with Fear.

Filed under onapalehorsexx

26 notes

Did anyone miss me?

onapalehorsexx:

assistantofevil:

…Tea does sound nice. Should I pour for two? [picks at her nail polish and smiles as she puts the kettle on] Than, can I ask you kind of a weird question? Nothing bad, I promise.

I could use a cup too. [smiles softly] I’ll try to answer the best I can. What do you want to ask me?

Is there a god of fear? Do you know one? [looks down at the mugs and rummages through the tea bags, not quite meeting his eyes] You turned out to be really nice, and now I’m not afraid of you. Or what you do.

…if the god of fear was as nice as you, maybe I wouldn’t be as scared all the time.

Filed under onapalehorsexx

26 notes

Did anyone miss me?

onapalehorsexx:

Sounds like you could use a cup of tea. [shrugs] I’ve been well. As is Pathos. I haven’t spoken to him lately to see how he is, he recently learned something about his childhood and I want to know if he’s okay with it. The boys are as mischievous as ever.

…Tea does sound nice. Should I pour for two? [picks at her nail polish and smiles as she puts the kettle on] Than, can I ask you kind of a weird question? Nothing bad, I promise.

Filed under onapalehorsexx

60 notes

If SHIELD was The Princess Bride

Moviegoers:
A comic book movie?
Joss Whedon:
That's right. When I was your age, movies were called comic books. And this is a special comic book. It was the comic book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you.
Moviegoers:
Has it got any sports in it?
Joss Whedon:
Are you kidding? Archery, fighting, brainwashing, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, Scarlett Johannson in a catsuit, magic...
Moviegoers:
Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake.
Joss Whedon:
Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.
.
Coulson:
[voiceover] That day, Tony Stark was amazed to discover that when Bruce Banner was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day he realized he truly loved Bruce back.
Tony:
Rage monster...fetch me that beaker?
[It's right over his head, so he has to stand next to Tony]
Bruce, softly:
As you wish.
.
Barton:
There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. Would be a pity to damage yours.
.
Stark:
Finish him, finish him! Your way!
Hulk:
Oh, good. My way. Thank you. Which way's my way?
Stark:
Pick up one of those Chithauri, get behind that building. In a few minutes, the man in green will come flying around the bend. The minute his head is in view, SMASH IT WITH THE CHITHAURI.
Hulk:
My way is not very sportsmanlike.
.
Barton:
You never said anything about killing anyone.
Loki:
I've compromised you to help me start a war. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.
Barton:
I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
Loki:
Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not brainwashed for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.
Stark:
I agree with Barton.
Loki:
Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy Brandy!
[turning to Barton]
Loki:
And YOU: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Budapest?
.
Loki:
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Barton:
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
.
Loki:
You mock my pain!
Black Widow:
Life is pain! Anyone who says differently is selling something.
.
Loki:
[as he is unsuccessfully fighting Thor] Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Thor:
I just want you to feel you're doing well.
.
Stark:
I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Captain America:
You're that smart?
Stark:
Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Captain America:
Yes.
Stark:
Morons.
.
Thor:
Don’t bother me with trifles – after 20 years, at last my father’s soul will be at peace. There will be blood tonight!
.
Barton:
[pushing his way through a crowd] Excuse me... Pardon me, Please it's important... Hulk, please?
Hulk:
EVERYBODY MOVE!
[everybody clears a path]
Barton:
Thank you.
.
Loki, to Coulson:
I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.
.
Coulson:
I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Fandom:
Well... you were dead.
Coulson:
Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Fandom:
I will never doubt again.
Coulson:
There will never be a need.

Filed under If SHIELD Was princess bride the princess bride avengers loki coulson barton tony stark iron man hulk